LIWLIG Perspectives #4
Together, Even When We Are Alone – On reactions, shame, and why shared experiences mean more than we think
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the endless loop of reaction videos? Those clips on YouTube where someone simply films themselves reacting to someone else’s content.
The other day I discovered an artist I had never heard before, with an incredible song and video: Ren – Hi Ren (worth checking out). After watching it once on YouTube, I clicked on a video where a vocal coach reacted to the same clip. Then another. And another.
Before the evening was over, I had heard what a soldier, a suicide survivor, a professional musician, a goth, a guitar teacher, and a pastor all had to say about the same video.
I found myself sitting there watching with them. Crying with them. Exploring the human psyche with them. (Yes, the video has that effect.)
Then it hit me. The shame.
Part of me feels that reaction videos are one of the dirtiest forms of entertainment. People living off other people’s creative work. I must have listened to the song fifteen times that evening, but only one of those views actually counted for the artist.
There was also something uncomfortable about the feeling that I needed someone else’s confirmation in order to form my own opinion. As if my own reaction was not quite enough.
That feeling lingered for a while. But a few days later I started asking myself: why did I feel that way? And perhaps even more interestingly, why did I get stuck in the loop in the first place?
Then it hit me. The Together Effect (also the title of a wonderful book by Katarina Blom).
When I sat there with my phone in my hand, I wasn't alone. Someone was sitting beside me, watching the same video and reacting to the same moments. We were impressed by the same brilliance and moved by the same lines. In the absence of a physical friend, I found several digital ones.
I still feel slightly guilty when I click on yet another reaction video, but now, it has become easier to forgive myself. I don't do it because I lack taste. I do it because I don't want to feel alone.
Our friends at Stockholm Live recently released a report called The Goosebumps Effect, and the results speak for themselves. When we humans do things together, something deeper happens. Our wellbeing increases, our sense of hope grows, and we become happier.
The report shows that it is not only about joy in the moment. When we share experiences, our emotions synchronize, sometimes even our heartbeats. The boundary between “I” and “we” begins to blur, and a sense of belonging emerges.
It is not about where we meet, but that we meet. Directing our attention toward the same thing. Feeling something simultaneously. That is why we repeatedly seek out situations where we can experience something together with others.
We are simply programmed to feel, understand, and experience life in relation to other people.
And when I see it that way, it is hard not to feel proud.
Proud to be part of creating experiences that bring people closer to one another, sometimes even when they are not sitting in the same room.
Patrik Eriksson Creative Producer
